I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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