i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
