..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
