i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
