I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
