He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
