I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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