Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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