when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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