woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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