then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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