do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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