Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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