i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
