Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
