Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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