I didn't shave. On purpose
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
