I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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