my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
