I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
