I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
