Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize