If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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