last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
