Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
