i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
