No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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