Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
