Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
