Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
