i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize