okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
