No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize