She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I wish i was in the wii world.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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