Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
