whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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