Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
