is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
