So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
