Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
