like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
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