This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I touched a dick in church today
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My feet surprised me
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize