Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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