Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize
