Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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