Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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