I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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