My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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