if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
