I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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