oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Randomize
