We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
