im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
