I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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