Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
