Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize