thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
