I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
As shirtless as possible
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
