Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
