we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize