idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
