i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
