I accidentally had phone sex last night
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
